If you plan on lingering here in this den of iniquity, the first and most vital concept you need to grasp is the difference between trash and garbage. In all honesty, until you master the crucial life skill of sorting the trash from the garbage, we can’t make much progress.
But wait, you loons! Trash IS garbage!
First of all, how dare you? Trash is NOT garbage. Begin your education by purging this ridiculous idea from your brain. Trash and garbage are not synonymous with one another. In fact, they exist on opposite sides of the spectrum. Unlike garbage, trash is adorable, often sickeningly so. Trash brings joy. It is ludicrous and entertaining and incredibly dumb, all at the same time.
We love trash. For us, trash is a way of life. Things we love are labeled as trash and people we love are affectionately referred to as trash. To be praised for being trash is an honor. To be dubbed a trashcan is also a high honor. It means you are so unbelievably trashy that you might as well be the actual trash receptacle. Conversely, to be derided as garbage is utter shame. Trash = positive. Garbage = negative. If you can’t understand this, you might be A) garbage or B) an old. I’m sorry.
You’re not really sorry.
No, I’m not. I rarely ever am. Also, here are some examples of trash for your edification:
Yato (Noragami) – Divine Lord of Trash.
Rolls around in ratty track suit and boots. Has been known to spend his time inside trash receptacles because he knows that he is the epitome of trash.
Flynn Rider (Tangled)
Famous for The Smolder, one of the trashiest facial expressions ever recorded. Main purpose: carrying Rapunzel’s hair for her.
The Entirety of Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
Every single character and moment of this anime is 2000% Pure Trash, Not From Concentrate. If you still don’t understand what it means to be trash, we are requiring you to watch the whole first season right now, this very minute.
Many, many, MANY more examples of trash exist in the world. If we tried to list all of them in one post, we’d be here until we were actual olds instead of just two girls who stay at home on Friday nights watching Korean dramas in their PJs. But there’s no rush, because this entire blog is absolute trash. You won’t be able to avoid it. That’s why we’re devoting Lesson 2 of this educational series to Garbage instead. Until next time, your homework is to find iterations of trash in your daily life. Seek trash. Embrace it. Make us proud.