If you plan on lingering here in this den of iniquity, the first and most vital concept you need to grasp is the difference between trash and garbage. In all honesty, until you master the crucial life skill of sorting the trash from the garbage, we can’t make much progress.
But wait, you loons! Trash IS garbage!
First of all, how dare you? Trash is NOT garbage. Begin your education by purging this ridiculous idea from your brain. Trash and garbage are not synonymous with one another. In fact, they exist on opposite sides of the spectrum. Unlike garbage, trash is adorable, often sickeningly so. Trash brings joy. It is ludicrous and entertaining and incredibly dumb, all at the same time.
We love trash. For us, trash is a way of life. Things we love are labeled as trash and people we love are affectionately referred to as trash. To be praised for being trash is an honor. To be dubbed a trashcan is also a high honor. It means you are so unbelievably trashy that you might as well be the actual trash receptacle. Conversely, to be derided as garbage is utter shame. Trash = positive. Garbage = negative. If you can’t understand this, you might be A) garbage or B) an old. I’m sorry.
You’re not really sorry.
No, I’m not. I rarely ever am. Also, here are some examples of trash for your edification: