How 2 Slytherin, Part I

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Hello and welcome to Mari’s Strong Opinions About Slytherin House: A Saga. Our first step towards understanding of what is arguably the most misunderstood Hogwarts house is to discuss what it means to be a Slytherin, from the vantage point of an actual bona fide 2000% Slytherin, a.k.a. Yours Truly. Because guys, my people deserve justice. And if we don’t receive that justice, there will be consequences.

Slytherin =/= Evil

Guys. Guys. Not all Slytherins are necessarily evil. EVIL is not what encapsulates the Slytherin existence, although we have no qualms about this alignment whatsoever. Pls look to your left and observe that Slytherin = ambition, leadership, cunning, and charisma. It is not our fucking fault that many villains in literature and film also subscribe to these character traits. Nor is it our fucking fault that Rowling wrote practically every villain in the Harry Potter series as a member of our illustrious House. (I have always had issues with this but I will not delve into that hot mess at this time.)

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5 FACTS: My Love From Another Star

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TITLE: My Love From Another Star (2013)
ALSO KNOWN AS: My Love From the Star(s), You Who Came From the StarsThe Alien Show no wait that’s just what we call it I’m sorry
STARRING: Kim Soo Hyun, Jun Ji Hyun, Park Hae Jin, Ahn Jae Hyun

Welcome to the 5 Facts series, where we tell you the five most important (spoiler-free!) things you need to know about a drama before you watch it! I mean, haven’t you ever looked at a drama and thought, will this work for me?? (???) Will this destroy me emotionally?? (Very likely) Is this as trashy as it looks??? (We’ll be the judge of that, thx bye) Should I, in fact, commit 20+ hours of my life to watching this???? (#time is $$ 2k16 we understand completely)

It’s fine, let us help you. Sit down and have some chocolate milk cause we’re starting this series by tackling one of our absolute favorites of all time… the extremely popular, universally adored My Love From Another Star! Without further ado, here are five things you need to know before you jump in:

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Why we love T.O.P and his eyebrows (More importantly- why you should, too)

Now that we have effectively introduced you to Trash vs. Garbage, it’s time to explore one of my personal favorites of the trashcan variety, Choi Seung Hyun, otherwise known as T.O.P.

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Some of you may know this fine specimen from a lil’ band from South Korea called Big Bang.

Lil’ Band? Anne, they’re huge, they’ve been around for a decade and-

OKAY, RIGHT, SO I AM A FLIPPANT INDIVIDUAL- Accept it and move on, this is about T.O.P and his thoroughly excellent eyebrows, not how much I’ve lived under a rock for the entirety of my life.

Listen, Mari and myself are connoisseurs of eyebrows. We appreciate a good eyebrow. In fact, we’ll probably add a post about how much we enjoy good brows to this trashcan of a site if y’all wait long enough. Take Kim Woo Bin for example

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Wow.

The man has strong eyebrow game. We know it, he knows it, everyone knows it and we can all agree that he uses it to his full advantage.

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Side note: he is totally dating this beautiful goddess, Shin Min Ah, and I am ABOUT THIS

Okay, this T.O.P post is slowly becoming wildly about Not T.O.P which is what everyone who is not T.O.P will hereby be referenced as from here on out. Let me further explain why he is an international treasure. 

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Trash vs. Garbage: Lesson 2

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At this point, we expect you understand us when we oh-so-affectionately refer to something as trash. Right? Good. If not, educate yourself.

Okay, Anne, I get it, trash is good but could you like, I don’t know, explain garbage.

Yeah, you trashcan, I can definitely do that, chill.

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Example: all that is pictured above? Garbage. The word chill is borderline trash but since it’s pixelated and that annoys me, I’m putting it fully under GARBAGE.

Garbage is when someone or something is so odiously awful that you are left with no other choice but to get rid of it, because it is not worth keeping in your life.

To illustrate our point, we have the following examples for your perusal:

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Trash vs. Garbage: Lesson 1

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If you plan on lingering here in this den of iniquity, the first and most vital concept you need to grasp is the difference between trash and garbage. In all honesty, until you master the crucial life skill of sorting the trash from the garbage, we can’t make much progress.

But wait, you loons! Trash IS garbage!

First of all, how dare you? Trash is NOT garbage. Begin your education by purging this ridiculous idea from your brain. Trash and garbage are not synonymous with one another. In fact, they exist on opposite sides of the spectrum. Unlike garbage, trash is adorable, often sickeningly so. Trash brings joy. It is ludicrous and entertaining and incredibly dumb, all at the same time.

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We love trash. For us, trash is a way of life. Things we love are labeled as trash and people we love are affectionately referred to as trash.  To be praised for being trash is an honor. To be dubbed a trashcan is also a high honor. It means you are so unbelievably trashy that you might as well be the actual trash receptacle. Conversely, to be derided as garbage is utter shame. Trash = positive. Garbage = negative. If you can’t understand this, you might be A) garbage or B) an old. I’m sorry.

You’re not really sorry.

No, I’m not. I rarely ever am. Also, here are some examples of trash for your edification:

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